Essay on Libido: AP Edition

When we first met, I already had a boyfriend. Initially, this new man was nothing more than an infrequent tryst, a side dish to placate the excesses of my libido. But before long, I broke up with my boyfriend, and spent my remaining days in America with the new man.

The new man was a discerning fetishist. Leaving the full inventory of his fetishes to your imagination, I will simply confess that his tastes excited me. Watching his lips curl around my toes, I felt a new world unfold before my eyes, like a bird looking down from above. In sadism, I found objective clarity.

Moreover, I found myself thinking about my work as a photographer.

I had moved to New York around the height of the financial crisis in 2008. As the shockwaves rippled throughout the world’s markets, the prognosis seemed to grow progressively grim. Amidst the upheaval, I began to notice all the people in my new home, fighting to ensure their rights. Their passion was something alien, unknown in Japan. Their intensity resonated with me, and left an indelible impression.

I also began to notice all the “minorities,” woven into the fabric of the city. Each of their worlds seemed to have its own set of rules, its own aesthetic code. Their pride and unfettered embrace of freedom on their own terms was always indescribably beautiful to my eyes.

I would inevitably click my camera’s shutter, as if in an attempt to become a part of these spectacles, to belong amongst these new people. But with each shutter snap, I merely grew more distant, sealing my fate as the ever-diligent onlooker.

写真集 『私家版・Libido』 についてのエッセイ










published in 2019 - First Edition

Edition 50, Numbered

All photographs were taken between 2008 - 2016 in N.Y


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